MILITARY LESSON: NEVER VOLUNTEER
During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had "artistic" abilities. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. Then the sergeant announced that everyone would get a three-day pass... except me. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldier's name onto his Army-issued underwear. Steven Silver, Scarsdale, New York
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THE DEADLIEST JOB IN WWII
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, "Did you ever kill anyone?" Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, "Probably. I was the cook." Marian Babula, Penn Run, Pennsylvania
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SETTING UP A BRIGADE
My brother and I arrived at boot camp together. On the first morning, our unit was dragged out of bed by our drill sergeant and made to assemble outside. "My name's Sergeant Jackson," he snarled. "Is there anyone here who thinks he can whip me?"
My six-foot-three, 280-pound brother raised his hand and said, "Yes, sir, I do."
Our sergeant grabbed him by the arm and led him out in front of the group. "Men," he said, "this is my new assistant. Now, is there anyone here who thinks he can whip both of us?"
SGT. NIMROD
I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, "Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard." The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. Gary Toohard. G. C., via mail
WHAT REALLY MATTERS
Going over our weekly training schedule one morning at our small Army garrison, we noticed that our annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second time, but that our semi-annual physical-fitness test was still on as planned. "Does it bother anyone else," one soldier asked, "that the Army doesn't seem concerned with how well we can shoot, yet is extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
UNCLEAN
Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home one evening to tell me he would be late. "Dirty magazines were discovered in the platoon quarters," he said, "and the whole squad is being disciplined."
Drill Sergeant: I didnĘt see you at the camouflage drill today Soldier: Sir! Thank You, Sir!
Drill Sergeant: I didnĘt see you at the camouflage drill today Soldier:If I EVER called my Sgt "sir" I got a SERIOUS ass chewing. Only Officers are called sir. Non-coms are addressed by their rank, because THEY work for a living. :)
Sir! Thank You, Sir!
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