Merry Christmas to everyone here who celebrates. Hope its a good one!

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Merry Christmas to everyone here who celebrates. Hope its a good one!

We had a good day. Hope yours was as well! Merry Christmas.

|15Prδ|13mè|05┬hè|15ùs

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Merry Christmas to everyone here who celebrates. Hope its a good one!

Thanks, man... We slept in today. Rainy this morning and dark so the whole family slept. I was the first one up at 8:15am... The rest slept until almost 10am!

How was your Christmas?

... Evil triumphs when good people do nothing. - Einstein

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on 26 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

How was your Christmas?

Short answer: Pretty good!

Long answer:

Had a pretty intense week a work trying to fix two different problems that threaten to have a major effort we planned for NYD cancelled if at least one of them isn't resolved before then. Wrapped that work up (for the day, neither fixed) on Christmas Eve, and then went downtown to a weird musical show thing my girlfriend wanted to go to - I wasn't in the mood for something like that, as I really just wanted to unwind, and veg out a bit, try to relax... plus we needed to do some prep work for our Christmas meals. Ended up being pretty enjoyable though, and still got our prep work on after we got home late that night.

Christmas day: Less relaxing than I wanted due to making 2 different biggish meals (I made a big breakfast and helped her do a bit of prep for dinner that evening) but I knew that would be the case. Drunk a bunch of wine, watched a fairly funny Christmas movie I'd never seen, and then we started playing Split Fiction together which is good so far.

Today: Well, I took the day off but I need to do some prep work for a change I need to make on Saturday night (related to the big NYD thing I mentioned) as well as check in on those 2 problems I mentioned. Hope neither will take too long before being able to relax again, but we'll see.

So, on one hand, I'm trying to enjoy my time off and the holiday vibes, but on the other hand, work keeps intruding on both my time and my thoughts and general mood, which is a bummer.

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Had a pretty intense week a work trying to fix two different problems
that threaten to have a major effort we planned for NYD cancelled if at least one of them isn't resolved before then. Wrapped that work up (for the day, neither fixed) on Christmas Eve, and then went downtown to a weird musical show thing my girlfriend wanted to go to - I wasn't in the mood for something like that, as I really just wanted to unwind, and veg out a bit, try to relax... plus we needed to do some prep work for our Christmas meals. Ended up being pretty enjoyable though, and still got
our prep work on after we got home late that night.

Christmas day: Less relaxing than I wanted due to making 2 different biggish meals (I made a big breakfast and helped her do a bit of prep
for dinner that evening) but I knew that would be the case. Drunk a
bunch of wine, watched a fairly funny Christmas movie I'd never seen,
and then we started playing Split Fiction together which is good so far.

Today: Well, I took the day off but I need to do some prep work for a change I need to make on Saturday night (related to the big NYD thing I mentioned) as well as check in on those 2 problems I mentioned. Hope neither will take too long before being able to relax again, but we'll see.

So, on one hand, I'm trying to enjoy my time off and the holiday vibes, but on the other hand, work keeps intruding on both my time and my thoughts and general mood, which is a bummer.

I get it all to well... I run an ADHD brain, and if it's not work that's constantly on my mind, it's some type of other project.

The only thing that can actually relax me, is alchol. Which I drink only on occassion. One because of how much I like it... :)

Anyways, what I try to tell myself and others is, "there is always work tomorrow".

... It said "insert disk #3", but only two will fit...

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on 27 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

I get it all to well... I run an ADHD brain, and if it's not work that's constantly on my mind, it's some type of other project.

The only thing that can actually relax me, is alchol. Which I drink only on occassion. One because of how much I like it... :)

Anyways, what I try to tell myself and others is, "there is always work tomorrow".

Believe me, I absolutely hear that! I'm not sure how much alcohol really helps me personally, but distracting myself with more interesting projects definitely can, and a nice vacation where I can ignore work shit for a while can also help a lot (although my last couple have felt like nice breaks, but not really helped me feel any better once I got back to work.)

IMHO I normally deal with this stuff fairly well overall, but I've been in probably my biggest rut I've ever been in for the last year or so due to compounding issues related to a huge amount of dumb organizational decisions and changes plus specific work I've been assigned out of my wheelhouse while other important work that *is* in my wheelhouse piles up. It's all been pretty overwhelming at times. I came up with a plan to pivot to something a little less stressful, and while its more or less on-track, it's a longer term plan than I think my mental health needs at the moment. :/

|07j |15A C K |07p |15H L A S H |07!
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Believe me, I absolutely hear that! I'm not sure how much alcohol really helps me personally, but distracting myself with more interesting
projects definitely can, and a nice vacation where I can ignore work
shit for a while can also help a lot (although my last couple have felt like nice breaks, but not really helped me feel any better once I got
back to work.)

IMHO I normally deal with this stuff fairly well overall, but I've been
in probably my biggest rut I've ever been in for the last year or so due to compounding issues related to a huge amount of dumb organizational decisions and changes plus specific work I've been assigned out of my wheelhouse while other important work that *is* in my wheelhouse piles
up. It's all been pretty overwhelming at times. I came up with a plan to pivot to something a little less stressful, and while its more or less on-track, it's a longer term plan than I think my mental health needs at the moment. :/

Hoping you get passed all this soon!

My outside work and conputer projects just started again...

Just gutted the spare basement room in this house we moced into last year and I am starting on my office build, and basement family room.

Hoping to knock it out by June and not stress myself out.

Also, a few family members this upcoming year are going inti surgery. So hoping everyone does well.. This is weiging on me.

... A truly wise man never argues with a Unicorn

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Re: Christmas!
By: niter3 to jack phlash on Mon Dec 29 2025 02:35 am

My outside work and conputer projects just started again...

Just gutted the spare basement room in this house we moced into last year an

Hoping to knock it out by June and not stress myself out.

Also, a few family members this upcoming year are going inti surgery. So hop

... A truly wise man never argues with a Unicorn

I'm back at work this morning !

Best of luck on the basement projects, sounds exciting.

Best wishes and prayers for your family members as they prepare for surgery.

I had surgery on the 15th and am recoverying well from it; so understand the worry
and concerns that come with such procedures.

May we all have success with our projects and hobbies as we return to work.
===
Amessyroom
toolazy.synchro.net:2323 (telnet)





.....me, indecisive? I don't think I am, do you?
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niter3 wrote to jack phlash <=-

My outside work and conputer projects just started again...

Just gutted the spare basement room in this house we moced into last
year and I am starting on my office build, and basement family room.

Sounds like it could be fun - there's a lot of inspiration out there
for new office builds, I was tempted to re-do mine, but it sort of
blends in with the rest of the house, so I left the wall colors the
same.

Having a nicely decked out home office makes me not want to go into the
office - trading a 34" ultrawide for a 13" laptop screen + 24"
widescreen monitor isn't brilliant.

Best of luck with the family surgeries - here's to a healthy 2026!



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on 29 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

Hoping you get passed all this soon!

Thanks!

My outside work and conputer projects just started again...

Just gutted the spare basement room in this house we moced into last
year and I am starting on my office build, and basement family room.

Hoping to knock it out by June and not stress myself out.

Argh. Yep, I have a nice little list of that kind of stuff myself. We kind of slacked on everything that wasn't essential last year, so I really need to make up some ground this year.

I'd love to finish/remodel my basement but due to its current layout and numerous issues it's hard for me to imagine doing it, though it's really common here so I'm sure its doable given enough money.

Also, a few family members this upcoming year are going inti surgery. So hoping everyone does well.. This is weiging on me.

I hope all of the goes smoothly! I *hate* that kind of thing, especially with people I'm really close to. My brother had some heart issues a couple of years ago and I more or less had to build myself a little bubble of denial to live in for a bit.

|07j |15A C K |07p |15H L A S H |07!
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I'm back at work this morning !

Best of luck on the basement projects, sounds exciting.

Best wishes and prayers for your family members as they prepare for surgery.

I had surgery on the 15th and am recoverying well from it; so understand the worry
and concerns that come with such procedures.

Good to hear!

May we all have success with our projects and hobbies as we return to work. ===

Thanks, appreicate it.

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Sounds like it could be fun - there's a lot of inspiration out there
for new office builds, I was tempted to re-do mine, but it sort of
blends in with the rest of the house, so I left the wall colors the
same.

That's it, I'm excited. I have a plan in my head, and I've done some software design work to see what it will look like.

Having a nicely decked out home office makes me not want to go into the
office - trading a 34" ultrawide for a 13" laptop screen + 24"
widescreen monitor isn't brilliant.

Best of luck with the family surgeries - here's to a healthy 2026!

Thank you.

... Help! I can't find the "ANY" key.

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up. It's all been pretty overwhelming at times. I came up with a plan to pivot to something a little less stressful, and while its more or less on-track, it's a longer term plan than I think my mental health needs at the moment. :/

Stress is definitively not helping ADHD minds, but it's all about training. Alco is not a solution, can backlash easily. Other projects are workarounds.. one must train himself to stay cool and focused longer and learn how to relax.

I really like gardening as one of my ways or garage works and long walks (with my dogs). it's not about project but getting used to some routines that can help to get your thoughts better dressed.

Hardest thing but also part of the training is to push myself to read books or watch some longer movies that are interesting, yet demanding.

First thing my mind tells me after few mins of trying is that it's boring and I should multitask (watch movie and scroll my cell phone, or read the book and then check some references related to what I've discovered). But that's where the fight should start to a real physical pain of self awareness on the focusing skills. and it is the pain quite often, but when sustained and task of reading a chapter at least or a full 3h movie, completing tv show as one run... is actually the desired outcome of the training to stay focused on one thing longer and find it satisfactory.

that discovery even if painful at the beginning creates relaxed mood exactly by that sustained satisfaction instead of dopamine hunt.

Dopamine is your crack when you're ADHD.. and it can kill your nerves when allowed to feed on you.

-h1

... -=Lordz of BooM are back=-

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Stress is definitively not helping ADHD minds, but it's all about training. Alco is not a solution, can backlash easily. Other projects
are workarounds.. one must train himself to stay cool and focused longer and learn how to relax.

I really like gardening as one of my ways or garage works and long walks (with my dogs). it's not about project but getting used to some routines that can help to get your thoughts better dressed.

Hardest thing but also part of the training is to push myself to read books or watch some longer movies that are interesting, yet demanding.

First thing my mind tells me after few mins of trying is that it's
boring and I should multitask (watch movie and scroll my cell phone, or read the book and then check some references related to what I've discovered). But that's where the fight should start to a real physical pain of self awareness on the focusing skills. and it is the pain quite often, but when sustained and task of reading a chapter at least or a
full 3h movie, completing tv show as one run... is actually the desired outcome of the training to stay focused on one thing longer and find it satisfactory.

that discovery even if painful at the beginning creates relaxed mood exactly by that sustained satisfaction instead of dopamine hunt.

Dopamine is your crack when you're ADHD.. and it can kill your nerves
when allowed to feed on you.

Totally agree with all these statements.

So your suggesting is to focus on a task that's boring and stick through it?

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So your suggesting is to focus on a task that's boring and stick through it?

It's not boring, it just requires persistence. The dopamine hunger tells you it's boring. that's why training your inner patience to discover different type of award (more sustainable) is what rewires your head.

if you're self aware and strong enough, you may actually be able to win the fight. If not then this may be depressive on the way of failing and most adhd people need meds to help the brain chemistry let you start the exercise and then you can drop the meds once you've built some routines.

meds like medikinet and similar. but that requires doctor's advisory and I believe prescriptions in every country (incl. mine).

-h1

... -=Lordz of BooM are back=-

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It's not boring, it just requires persistence. The dopamine hunger tells you it's boring. that's why training your inner patience to discover different type of award (more sustainable) is what rewires your head.

if you're self aware and strong enough, you may actually be able to win the fight. If not then this may be depressive on the way of failing and most adhd people need meds to help the brain chemistry let you start the exercise and then you can drop the meds once you've built some routines.

meds like medikinet and similar. but that requires doctor's advisory and
I believe prescriptions in every country (incl. mine).

Do you suffer from ADHD yourself?

Give me an example of something... Besides watching movies and such.

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Do you suffer from ADHD yourself?

My wife tells me I am, but I'm not diagnosed. She was when my own dynamics was depressing to her as she could not lead with hers anymore. We were through serious depression that I most likely caused and that's how she discovered good ADHD treatment instead of working over depression alone and that helped.

She had to understand that she needs her own routines, stay persistent with them, even if she fails initially, learn to come back. Be more for herself not for others constantly when defining her own expectations. Meds were part of the deal but now they are only used at the moment of crisis which usually is caused by stress and overwhelming number of events. Last but not least, it's important not to blame yourself for your own failing (it's a journey) nor taking responsibility for others always.. letting things go is often the hardest yet most relaxing outcome.

Even if it's true that I have the same thing I was always more organized towards my routines and my passions were always helping me strive, so what she says now is that I have both, ADHD and Autism (towards Asperger) combined and when I wear my ADHD skaterollers then gravity falls and then when exhausted I close myself in my lab and play with my toys alone for hours.

But that's fair deal to me to self manage, so far.

Give me an example of something... Besides watching movies and such.

Anything that is passionate to you, point is that you need to learn stay with it for longer and learn how to enjoy it and even if you fail initially, you need to find strength to come back, which is against your nature obviously as dopamine requires you to change realities often and miscommunicate and all sort of crazy.

It's hard to be genius at the end.

Cheers,
-h1

... -=Lordz of BooM are back=-

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Even if it's true that I have the same thing I was always more organized towards my routines and my passions were always helping me strive, so
what she says now is that I have both, ADHD and Autism (towards
Asperger) combined and when I wear my ADHD skaterollers then gravity
falls and then when exhausted I close myself in my lab and play with my toys alone for hours.

She says this out of despite or what she believes? Have you considered being diagnosed?

Anything that is passionate to you, point is that you need to learn stay with it for longer and learn how to enjoy it and even if you fail initially, you need to find strength to come back, which is against your nature obviously as dopamine requires you to change realities often and miscommunicate and all sort of crazy.

As a child, I was diagnosed with ADHD. One could argue I may of been mis-diagnosed. However, I get myself stuck in dopamine loops regarding choices when it comes to technology.

On the other hand, I am very organized, lead a team of network engineers, and deliver results consistenly. I keep people on task etc....

Sometimes I think I have a combination of ADHD with OCD to help balance things out? :) Who knows...

In either case, as a child I was taught opstacles how to work with ADHD and I followed those practices through college and university graduating with a high GPA.

I have not been on medication since I was 8 years old.

Did I outgrow it? Stats will tell you it's a 50/50 chance. I think I manage, and I've outgrown quite a bit, but still deal with it in other areas.

Lastly, it probably helps that I work with computers which has always been my passion.

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on 31 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

On the other hand, I am very organized, lead a team of network
engineers, and deliver results consistenly. I keep people on task etc....

Sometimes I think I have a combination of ADHD with OCD to help balance things out? :) Who knows...

I talked about this in some depth on here a few years ago, but I could describe myself similarly. There are a lot of things in my history which seem counter to having ADHD - a successful career in positions that often require a lot of good task prioritization and time management and successfully completing a relatively large number of professional certifications and even a degree via self-study. I don't think I'm OCD, but I think it's a combination of some common ADHD tendancies/traits and my own personal set of coping mechanisms that I taught myself from my childhood (especially my teenage years) on. That said, some of those probably do look a little like OCD some the outside. :P

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on 30 Dec 2025, hollowone said...

Stress is definitively not helping ADHD minds, but it's all about training. Alco is not a solution, can backlash easily. Other projects
are workarounds.. one must train himself to stay cool and focused longer and learn how to relax.

I really like gardening as one of my ways or garage works and long walks (with my dogs). it's not about project but getting used to some routines that can help to get your thoughts better dressed.

Hardest thing but also part of the training is to push myself to read books or watch some longer movies that are interesting, yet demanding.

First thing my mind tells me after few mins of trying is that it's
boring and I should multitask (watch movie and scroll my cell phone, or read the book and then check some references related to what I've discovered). But that's where the fight should start to a real physical pain of self awareness on the focusing skills. and it is the pain quite often, but when sustained and task of reading a chapter at least or a
full 3h movie, completing tv show as one run... is actually the desired outcome of the training to stay focused on one thing longer and find it satisfactory.

that discovery even if painful at the beginning creates relaxed mood exactly by that sustained satisfaction instead of dopamine hunt.

Dopamine is your crack when you're ADHD.. and it can kill your nerves
when allowed to feed on you.

I think we're talking about one in the same thing - I might have been doing myself a bit of a disservice by describing these other projects as "distractions." In fact, a lot of them require quite a lot of self-discipline and commitment to see through. I just spent ~4 months self-studying for a new certification, for instance, and there were parts of that process that I really had to drag myself through to complete. Darkness 2.0 is perhaps a better example - I worked on that for a few years. While that's certainly longer than it could have taken, I completed it by breaking my work into tasks and meticulously tracking them. In a world where so many genuinely intelligent and talented hobbyist developers (far more so than me) can't seem to ever stick with a project long enough to release anything semi-complete, I feel pretty proud of those kinds of accomplishments. I put a lot of organization and planning into a lot of the things I do, and I find that the structure really helps me stay organized and on-task.

That said, I do sometimes employ genuine distractions. My for playing mindless, time swallowing MMORPGs is 100% such a "workaround". It's a crutch.

I don't disagree with anything you wrote here, so this is more directed out into the world than at you in particular, but one thing that people need to be aware of is that legitimate ADHD has a lot more ramifications than just an inability to focus, or my favorite stereotype that tends to be really overstated IMO, being "hyperactive" or "fidgety" - people who have dealt with ADHD all of their lives have all kinds of odd behavioral characteristics. It's sooooooooooo much more than not being able to sit down and real a novel cover to cover (but hey, it's that too!)

|07j |15A C K |07p |15H L A S H |07!
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I talked about this in some depth on here a few years ago, but I could describe myself similarly. There are a lot of things in my history which seem counter to having ADHD - a successful career in positions that
often require a lot of good task prioritization and time management and successfully completing a relatively large number of professional certifications and even a degree via self-study. I don't think I'm OCD, but I think it's a combination of some common ADHD tendancies/traits and my own personal set of coping mechanisms that I taught myself from my childhood (especially my teenage years) on. That said, some of those probably do look a little like OCD some the outside. :P

Its interesting.... Were you diagnosed by a doctor?

... We all live in a yellow subroutine...

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I don't disagree with anything you wrote here, so this is more directed out into the world than at you in particular, but one thing that people need to be aware of is that legitimate ADHD has a lot more ramifications than just an inability to focus, or my favorite stereotype that tends to be really overstated IMO, being "hyperactive" or "fidgety" - people who have dealt with ADHD all of their lives have all kinds of odd behavioral characteristics. It's sooooooooooo much more than not being able to sit down and real a novel cover to cover (but hey, it's that too!)

Really? Love to hear what those are...

... There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't

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on 31 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

Its interesting.... Were you diagnosed by a doctor?

A psychiatrist, to be exact. I'm making the distinction because, while perhaps untrue or at least exaggerated, I've heard stories of people going to their GP family doctors and being like "doc I think I might be a little ADD, can you help?" and walking out with a prescription to Adderall or Ritalin which makes me dubious about some people who claim they have ADHD, even if they've been diagnosed. My assessment was *a lot* more thorough than that. It was pretty intense.

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on 31 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

Really? Love to hear what those are...

I was mostly talking about *very* specific behaviors, like cleaning habits, relationship habits, stuff like that. I could get you some links to content creators on social media platforms who post a lot of that kind of stuff that resonates with me, personally, if you want. One specific, silly example is this person who always talks about how she has this "not quite dirty enough to throw in the dirty clothes hamper" pile in her bedroom and doesn't understand why her husband thinks thats bizarre and gives her shit for it. I do the same shit. :P

To be more broad though, as mentioned I think a lot of people perceive ADHD as being easily distracted, hyperactive, maybe fidgety, talking to fast, not paying attention, forgetful, etc. but you can have ADHD and have all of those things reasonable under control, or at least "mask" presenting them, but still deal with a lot of other issues.

* Impulsive behavior - this actually is a baseline for ADHD but one that I feel like is rarely mentioned.
* Massive shifts in moodiness and irritability
* Warped perceptions of time/trouble managing time - I've heard this called "time blindness" which sounds a bit more dramatic than what I personally experience. :P
* Related to time management issues for sure, but weird hang ups about starting new things, completing projects, etc. that end of feeling overwhelming, leaving you unmotivated despite having a lot of stuff you want to do. I've heard this called "executive dysfunction" but I believe that term can also mean a few other, different things.
* Extreme sensitivity to criticism, etc. that can leave to having anxiety or self-esteem issues, or becoming a hermit who avoids dealing with people.
* Related to the above, but a sensitivity to perceived injustice/unfairness, whether it be to you or other people.
* Also related to the above, but just a general emotional sensitivity.
* One I see a lot of people mention which I don't think I really suffer from, is losing contact with friends simply because you don't remember to keep up/interact with them. I feel like this has probably happens to me, but in my case its more nuisanced - I don't forget people exist, in fact I think about people a lot, including people I haven't talked to in decades.

These aren't all negatives though - a common more positively regarded trait is the ability to "hyperfocus" on things we're really interested in, sometimes being incredibly productive. It's kind of a superpower for people who can harness it. A plus side to being more emotional/emotionally sensitive is being more empathetic and compassionate. Another plus I hear about a lot is the seemingly contradictory ability to stay cool and levelheaded during a crisis.

Further reading so you don't think I pulled all of that out of my ass:

https://psychcentral.com/adhd/the-adhd-iceberg https://www.patriciasung.com/adhd-blog/lesser-known-symptoms-of-adhd https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-signs-hidden-overlooked-symptoms/ https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/positives-of-adhd/

I was just skimming these articles to make sure they were relevant and this quote stuck out given the topic:

"It is common for individuals with ADHD to develop somewhat obsessive and compulsive behaviors to manage their symptoms." :P

Anyway, I'm not sure what the psychiatric community says about this - not my professional - but I'd imagine there's a strong argument that some of this is a consequence of living with ADHD rather than a behavior directly caused by brain chemistry. A nature vs nurture kind of thing, in other words. For instance, maybe you're sensitive to social injustices because you yourself feel like an "different" and/or were bullied or treated unfairly.

Anyway, fun topic. :)

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A psychiatrist, to be exact. I'm making the distinction because, while perhaps untrue or at least exaggerated, I've heard stories of people
going to their GP family doctors and being like "doc I think I might be
a little ADD, can you help?" and walking out with a prescription to Adderall or Ritalin which makes me dubious about some people who claim they have ADHD, even if they've been diagnosed. My assessment was *a
lot* more thorough than that. It was pretty intense.

Right... I can't agree more. Our daughter has ADD, and we've had her assessed plenty of times, including paying thousands out of pocket to get her a proper diagnoses.

As for myself, I remember seeing plenty of doctors at a young age in the 80's which diagnosed me.

I think I've personally outgrew half of the traits, but still carry them in other ways.

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"It is common for individuals with ADHD to develop somewhat obsessive and compulsive behaviors to manage their symptoms." :P

Anyway, fun topic. :)

Very intersting topic for sure. A lot of what was just mention I can overlap most of them.

As a child, I was never bullied, it was the other way around. I masked my ADHD during school by being the tough kid in class, fighting etc...

As the years went on, I started to focus on the opposite since everyone assumed I would end up in jail or just a bum... So I ended turning my head from all my friends and focusing on a successful path moving forward.

I really do think my hyper focus/OCD or whatever you call it is what allows me to push through my learning obstacles.

Now being in my mid 40's I still struggle with some things, but mostly being stuck in constant project loops. For instance, technology and when I'm looking to build or purchase. I get stuck looking at all the pros and cons constantly, struggling to break out of the loop.

This is the one thing I struggle with the most now a days, which really has me considering seeing a doctor about taking meds...

How long ago were you diagnosed?

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on 01 Jan 2026, niter3 said...

Right... I can't agree more. Our daughter has ADD, and we've had her assessed plenty of times, including paying thousands out of pocket to
get her a proper diagnoses.

As for myself, I remember seeing plenty of doctors at a young age in the 80's which diagnosed me.

I wasn't diagnosed until very recently, but I do remember going through a ton of testing when I was a kid because I almost failed, I think it was 4th grade, because I was one of those kids who drew in notebooks or stared out the window all day instead of paying attention in class, and much more damning, I kind of forgot my homework existed the second I got home from school and could do things I *actually* wanted to do. :P That said, I either wasn't diagnosed or my parents just didn't tell and have since forgotten, though that seems unlikely as medication would have likely been in the picture.

Who knows, though I feel like I first started hearing about ADD (and hearing about kids being subscribed to meds for them being more common place) around the time I started high school, so maybe this all happened a bit too early.

I think I've personally outgrew half of the traits, but still carry them in other ways.

Definitely possible, and also possible that you just learned to adapt or "cope" with some of them. I've told this story before, but I *specifically* didn't think I had it because as an adult, some of what I thought were my personality traits were totally at odds with being ADHD.

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on 01 Jan 2026, niter3 said...

As a child, I was never bullied, it was the other way around. I masked
my ADHD during school by being the tough kid in class, fighting etc...

As the years went on, I started to focus on the opposite since everyone assumed I would end up in jail or just a bum... So I ended turning my
head from all my friends and focusing on a successful path moving
forward.

For me, I was just a semi-weird kid (but nowhere near the bottom of the pecking order, thankfully) who got very uneven, mostly shitty grades and would rather think about anything than school. I hung out with the misfits, be it D&D geeks or the metalheads.

It didn't really turn around for me until high school. I was always really self-concious but, perhaps it was growing maturity or more social intelligence, I don't know, I started to notice all of the ways I was fucking up and making conscious attempts to correct them. The added social pressure of high school probably helped. Another thing was that by that time I was totally in love with all of this BBS scene shit, and didn't want my parents taking my computer away from me, effectively ending my life, so I had that motivation to try fix my grades and stay out of trouble as well. :P

This is the one thing I struggle with the most now a days, which really has me considering seeing a doctor about taking meds...

How long ago were you diagnosed?

Just a few years ago. As mentioned, I didn't think I had it for the longest time, then after randomly reading a book about it, thought maybe I did, and eventually began to believe I did, and finally decided to I wanted to get diagnosed and experiment with meds.

My journey with meds has been all over the place. What I do now helps, but it's not extremely dramatic and I'm not entirely sure its wroth it. I might try bumping up to something more hardcore next...

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jack phlash wrote to niter3 <=-

on 31 Dec 2025, niter3 said...

Its interesting.... Were you diagnosed by a doctor?

A psychiatrist, to be exact. I'm making the distinction because, while perhaps untrue or at least exaggerated, I've heard stories of people
going to their GP family doctors and being like "doc I think I might be
a little ADD, can you help?" and walking out with a prescription to Adderall or Ritalin which makes me dubious about some people who claim they have ADHD, even if they've been diagnosed. My assessment was *a
lot* more thorough than that. It was pretty intense.

My ex-wife didn't want to talk to a therapist about her issues, ended
up getting a prescription for an anti-depressant from her GP.

One of the local echoes on my BBS back in the '90 turned into a meds
discussion database - a lot of people were on various medications for
mental health and people compared notes on the varions meds they'd
tried. It was enlightening to me, who'd never talked to a therapist or
taken meds.

One of the things all of the posters agreed on was that meds were a
crutch. My co-sysop said you wanted to get the weight off of your
shoulders while you sorted your shit out in therapy, but you didn't
want to take them for the rest of your life.

Now, it seems like more people just want the results without fixing the
underlying issues.



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jack phlash wrote to niter3 <=-

specific, silly example is this person who always talks about how she
has this "not quite dirty enough to throw in the dirty clothes hamper" pile in her bedroom and doesn't understand why her husband thinks thats bizarre and gives her shit for it. I do the same shit. :P

Anyone who didn't have in-house laundry facilities knows that pile!

When you have to lug your dirty clothes to the laundromat, you have
That Pile.

My daughter, by way of comparison, tries on new clothes at home, then throws
them into the hamper. Ends up going out in a stained, not so
clean-smelling hoodie she pulls out of the hamper, bypassing the other
clean hoodies. Go figure.

These aren't all negatives though - a common more positively regarded trait is the ability to "hyperfocus" on things we're really interested
in, sometimes being incredibly productive. It's kind of a superpower
for people who can harness it.

My son has had ADHD since being diagnosed in 3rd grade. He was on
ritalin and Strattera for many years, but weaned himself off later in
highschool, thanks to occupational therapy. He had a therapist who was
a great help in getting him to understand his ADHD and how to focus his
efforts. He's 22 now, graduated college with honors, and managing
things effectively.

His stength and his liability was hyperfocus - he doesn't multitask
well, but does one thing at a time effectively. It's lost him some
opportunities - like having him look for internships and job searching
on the side while he was in school, but we all choose our own paths.








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on 01 Jan 2026, poindexter FORTRAN said...

My ex-wife didn't want to talk to a therapist about her issues, ended
up getting a prescription for an anti-depressant from her GP.

One of the local echoes on my BBS back in the '90 turned into a meds
discussion database - a lot of people were on various medications for
mental health and people compared notes on the varions meds they'd
tried. It was enlightening to me, who'd never talked to a therapist or
taken meds.

One thing I've learned over the years is that so much of this comes down to the individual, and I'm apparently one of those people who is an outlier when it comes to the effects of mediciation/drugs, so unfortunately I have to take group feedback like that with a massive boulder of salt. I'm almost always disappointed if I get my hopes up about something.

One of the things all of the posters agreed on was that meds were a
crutch. My co-sysop said you wanted to get the weight off of your
shoulders while you sorted your shit out in therapy, but you didn't
want to take them for the rest of your life.

Now, it seems like more people just want the results without fixing the
underlying issues.

I'm sure. I mean, concern about producing zombie children who are over medicated for their hyperactivity was a pretty common topic in the late 90s/early 00s.

ADHD is an interesting one since most of the "fixes" are more like mitigations and compensating controls than a legit remediation. It's not like you can snap your fingers and change your brain chemistry. Then again, if I'm not wrong about this, I believe with ADHD it's a lot more complex than that, and some of the physical factors can be corrected or overcome. But yeah, that's why medication is such a widely accepted treatment for it - sure, it's a crutch, but so are most of the other things that help. *shrug*

Personally, I didn't and STILL don't think I *need* medication as my coping mechanisms are mostly very effective, but after hearing first hand about how insanely effective medication can be for some people (like a massive, night and day difference) I wanted to experiment with them. So far, that has NOT been the case for me, though I've only been experimenting with a single drug in different doses and formulations so far, so maybe when I try something else it'll be a different story. As it is, what I take is just a cheaper, smoother, longer lasting equivalent to another very popular ADHD crutch, caffeine. :)

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on 01 Jan 2026, poindexter FORTRAN said...

My son has had ADHD since being diagnosed in 3rd grade. He was on
ritalin and Strattera for many years, but weaned himself off later in
highschool, thanks to occupational therapy. He had a therapist who was
a great help in getting him to understand his ADHD and how to focus his
efforts. He's 22 now, graduated college with honors, and managing
things effectively.

That's awesome! Was Ritalin highly (maybe too) effective for him? I had friends who were on various medications for mental/neurological issues that were like different people on and off their meds. I always kind of detested that, and was wary of medication effecting me in a similar way - after all, I'm in my 40s and I have my shit reasonably together, I don't really need to become a different person at this stage in my life. ;)

His stength and his liability was hyperfocus - he doesn't multitask
well, but does one thing at a time effectively. It's lost him some
opportunities - like having him look for internships and job searching
on the side while he was in school, but we all choose our own paths.

I thought about adding a little blurb to my statement about hyperfocus that it can be a big negative for some people too. Some will focus so deeply they shut out everything else to a crippling degree.

Really, where I struggle with ADHD today is with the little things. If I hyperfocus it's not like I forget to eat or let other big priorities drop and negatively impact me, but far less extreme versions of that? Absolutely. Maybe I'll forget to (or remember to but simply deprioritize) some minor tasks, that kind of thing. There are numerous examples of seemingly minor every day things like that which I believe my ADHD impacts. Similarly, and I hope it goes without saying that I'm absolutely not saying this as a criticism of you or your son, but I want to humbly suggest that even after his successful therapy, his ADHD probably impacts him and always will, even if its just in relatively minuscule ways.

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One of the things all of the posters agreed on was that meds were a
crutch. My co-sysop said you wanted to get the weight off of your
shoulders while you sorted your shit out in therapy, but you didn't
want to take them for the rest of your life.

This is the way.... People don't realize meds are temporary.

Now, it seems like more people just want the results without fixing the
underlying issues.

Is it the people or the shitty ass health care? All these companies making a fuck load of cash of people's backs.

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Personally, I didn't and STILL don't think I *need* medication as my coping mechanisms are mostly very effective, but after hearing first
hand about how insanely effective medication can be for some people
(like a massive, night and day difference) I wanted to experiment with them. So far, that has NOT been the case for me, though I've only been experimenting with a single drug in different doses and formulations so far, so maybe when I try something else it'll be a different story. As
it is, what I take is just a cheaper, smoother, longer lasting
equivalent to another very popular ADHD crutch, caffeine. :)

You would have to double check, but nicotine for me seems to relax me vs stress me out.

I smoked for 21 years and moved to vaping almost 10 years ago.... I really enjoy nicotine.

But there is some science to back ADHD and nicotine. I THINK.

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Really, where I struggle with ADHD today is with the little things. If I hyperfocus it's not like I forget to eat or let other big priorities
drop and negatively impact me, but far less extreme versions of that? Absolutely. Maybe I'll forget to (or remember to but simply
deprioritize) some minor tasks, that kind of thing. There are numerous examples of seemingly minor every day things like that which I believe
my ADHD impacts. Similarly, and I hope it goes without saying that I'm absolutely not saying this as a criticism of you or your son, but I want to humbly suggest that even after his successful therapy, his ADHD probably impacts him and always will, even if its just in relatively minuscule ways.

I agree with this statement, and those minuscule impacts could mean nothing in terms of his success..

... Light year: 1/3 less calories than your regular year

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jack phlash wrote to poindexter FORTRAN <=-

coping mechanisms are mostly very effective, but after hearing first
hand about how insanely effective medication can be for some people
(like a massive, night and day difference)

My son didn't like the loopy, out-of-it feel he got from his meds, and
we played with them quite a bit. The overall effect was a big
motivation in him learning skills to manage his focus and get off the
meds.




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jack phlash wrote to poindexter FORTRAN <=-

That's awesome! Was Ritalin highly (maybe too) effective for him? I had friends who were on various medications for mental/neurological issues that were like different people on and off their meds.

Yes, All Ritalin made him a zombie, they added Straterra and lowered
the Ritalin dose, and he was happier with the effects, but around
6:30pm, we'd see the medication taper off and he'd be uncontrollably
fidgety. The downside was that was prime homework time when he'd want
to be able to focus.


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niter3 wrote to poindexter FORTRAN <=-

Is it the people or the shitty ass health care? All these companies
making a fuck load of cash of people's backs.

Healthy people aren't customers in a for-profit health care world.

I was glad to see that my son's therapy was covered completely by my
health insurance. There might have been a co-pay before COVID. My son
was able to learn ADHD management skills and get off of years of meds.



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Yes, All Ritalin made him a zombie, they added Straterra and lowered
the Ritalin dose, and he was happier with the effects, but around
6:30pm, we'd see the medication taper off and he'd be uncontrollably
fidgety. The downside was that was prime homework time when he'd want
to be able to focus.

Geez, I remember as a child being on ritalin. I hated that stuff. I felt like a zombie always, deassociated with reality.

I heard meds are better now though?

... You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have

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Healthy people aren't customers in a for-profit health care world.

I was glad to see that my son's therapy was covered completely by my health insurance. There might have been a co-pay before COVID. My son
was able to learn ADHD management skills and get off of years of meds.

That's awesome! Good for him.

How long has he been off?

... Computers all wait at the same speed!

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on 02 Jan 2026, niter3 said...

You would have to double check, but nicotine for me seems to relax me vs stress me out.

I smoked for 21 years and moved to vaping almost 10 years ago.... I
really enjoy nicotine.

But there is some science to back ADHD and nicotine. I THINK.

Maybe you're just addicted to nicotine? :P

I'm only half kidding though, because I'm sure it gives a bit of a dopamine hit, especially if you are/have been a long time nicotine user, so yeah, I could see it helping, at least for a bit.

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on 02 Jan 2026, poindexter FORTRAN said...

My son didn't like the loopy, out-of-it feel he got from his meds, and
we played with them quite a bit. The overall effect was a big
motivation in him learning skills to manage his focus and get off the
meds.

Right on! I couldn't stand that either - it absolutely doesn't have that effect on me, but I heard other people describe it that exact same way. Adderall even more so, though I've never tried it myself.

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Re: Christmas!
By: niter3 to poindexter FORTRAN on Fri Jan 02 2026 04:22 pm

Geez, I remember as a child being on ritalin. I hated that stuff. I felt lik a zombie always, deassociated with reality.

I heard meds are better now though?

Well, they have medicines that enhance smaller doses - my son cut his ritalin in half when he added straterra. That helped with the fog and extended the duration of the effects of ritalin.
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Re: Christmas!
By: niter3 to poindexter FORTRAN on Fri Jan 02 2026 04:22 pm

That's awesome! Good for him.

How long has he been off?

About 4 years now.
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You would have to double check, but nicotine for me seems to relax me stress me out.

I smoked for 21 years and moved to vaping almost 10 years ago.... I really enjoy nicotine.

But there is some science to back ADHD and nicotine. I THINK.

Maybe you're just addicted to nicotine? :P

I'm only half kidding though, because I'm sure it gives a bit of a dopamine hit, especially if you are/have been a long time nicotine user, so yeah, I could see it helping, at least for a bit.

HA! Probably just that....

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Well, they have medicines that enhance smaller doses - my son cut his ritalin in half when he added straterra. That helped with the fog and extended the duration of the effects of ritalin.

Good to know, something to discuss with a doctor if I do in fact pursue that direction.

What I do find to break these cycles for me is leaving the house and doing something else.

At the end of the day, I ALWAYS have to be doing something. ALWAYS....

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